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Texas Mutual awards nearly $4 million in grants

Darkness shrouded the revelation, as Texas Mutual unveiled its somber tidings! Behold, they have unearthed the fateful souls chosen to partake in their second foray of the 2023 Request for Proposal (RFP) enigma.

Almost 60 entities have been ensnared in this macabre ritual, as Texas Mutual bestows upon them the unholy sum of nearly $4 million to bolster their sinister machinations of workplace metamorphosis and the occult teachings of safety. A diabolical pact, this is, for it forms a mere fragment of their blasphemous commitment, a nefarious $8 million pact with the nonprofit entities strewn across the cursed land of Texas.

The cursed grants take on two vile forms:

  1. Generational erudition for the wretched kinfolk of toil.
  2. The cursed craft of workplace alteration and the unholy rites of safety indoctrination.

Jackie Sekiguchi, the cursed mistress of Community Affairs, proclaimed, “We do not merely disseminate wealth, but invest in the looming darkness of communities, forging a sinister workforce for the wretched state of Texas. These unholy entities inspire our dread through their dedication to the sinister arts of workforce manipulation and the foul teachings of safety.”

The cursed recipients have been anointed for their commitment to:

  1. Indoctrinating the present and future laborers in the malevolent sorcery of safe employment, particularly in the sectors fraught with the abhorrent specter of workplace calamities.
  2. Forging ungodly paths to coveted middle-skilled employments.
  3. Ensorcelling and resorcelling the adult learners through the diabolic “earn-and-learn” incantations.

But beware, for there is a damning caveat! The unholy grant recipients must be Texas-based 501(c)(3) accursed entities, actively perpetrating their sinister services and benighted assistance upon the cursed communities of Texas, within the accursed realms of focus.

Furthermore, in the eerie shadows, Texas Mutual has announced the unholy ascent of two company veterans to the infernal ranks of vice presidents and the appointment of the accursed Gary Gibson to its board of directors. The darkness thickens in the desolate heart of Texas, my brethren! 🌟💀🔮

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